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Lit. by danajk701

Writing by styleforever22447


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March 24, 2006
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The girl is afraid of love.
The girl is afraid of love?
That can't be right.
No.
That isn't right at all.
I live for love.
It's the empty need I fear.
He's so beautiful.
I love him.
I want to make him happy, but not by sacrificing my needs.
I want to be close to him, but not give up my purity.
But that's all he wants.
That's all he ever wants.
I don't even think about it until he's trying to push my boundaries.
He can't see the other way.
He doesn't want the other way.
He wants me.
Now.
But I don't want him.
Not like that.
I was rereading Tremors and the last line just sort of stuck in my head.

"The girl is afraid of love."

It just didn't seem right. I've been stuck on it for the past couple of days. I did some soul searching and a ton of research but I figured out why that wasn't right. I'm asexual. I don't experience sexual attraction. Not the way that most people do. I never have.
[link]

^ that should explain it better.

but yeah, I finally wrote something about it.

EDIT: It's been a looong time since I wrote this poem. And since then, I got married and found out that I enjoy sex quite a bit. But at the time I wrote this, I believed that I was asexual. If you're reading my poem and everything I'm saying is clicking, do research and some soul searching. And don't be afraid to stand up for yourself if you are. Don't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to do. Not craving sexual intimacy can be a gift so don't be ashamed of it.
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:iconcreaturesanonymous:
creaturesanonymous Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014  New member Student Traditional Artist
This makes abit of sence im at the age were all girls care about is boys boys boys and hugging and all that stuff. But what i havent understood is why im not like that i dont mind being single(i actualy like being single) but thatdoesnt mean i want a a guy who treats me well. The hole dating thing to me just seems weird and the sex stuff just sorta freaks me out. I cant hold a guys hand and look him in the face, i cant hugg a guy with out walking away fast, and i cant stand it when they touch my hips. I still havent found out who i truly am, and feeling confuse me. I have talked to my mom about this and she said its very possible that i could be a asexual, but its still not all clear to me. yes i like having guy friends that flirt and all that but it still seems weird ive always have dreamed about that perfect guy that cuddles but is it weird i cant see myself in a lasting relation ship with some one i love? No, I disagree! 
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:iconmillitrix:
Millitrix Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014  Student General Artist
This ... just describes everything I think ...
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:iconsquirrellover:
squirrellover Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Im only 14 and maybe Im truly not asexual and Ill find out when I grow up but when I was dating a 17 year old he wanted to kiss me and it just totally disgusted me and I have had a lot of things like that were the guy wanted to hold my hand or something (like kiss me) and I just couldnt but its werid becuz I love cuddling and hugging..... idk Im just kinda confused and I just hope Im asexual just becuz I truly want to know wat I am... maybe u can help me?
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:icontruthdawnsinfire:
TruthDawnsinFire Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm 14 too and its really simple, just cause you're asexual now doesn't mean you have to be forever, all it means is that you don't feel the need to have sex, you don't want it and that's that, it doesn't mean you don't love or anything, now that's a uhhh...open-minded Ace's(asexual person) opinion some asexual people don't want cuddling or kissing or hand holding, others it a mix. Anyway your asexual if you totally don't want to have sex at all, a way to identify it is that any time you feel like someone is trying to make a move (like kissing)  you feel uncomfortable and want to get away
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:iconsquirrellover:
squirrellover Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I'm 15 now and I have found out that I am not truly asexual I just thought I was because I was going through my numb state of my depression and I truly did not want to have any feeling not even that. But this last summer I fell in love and found out what happiness truly feels like. And with this boy all I wanted to do is kiss him and I still did not want to have sex but it was more of that I was 15 then anything. Its quite different for me now even though we have broken up (after 6 months) I now realize that through my years why I didn't want to kiss any guy was because I truly did not like them, I just dated them because they liked me. So now that I am single once again and boy are telling me they like me and asking me out I realize I shouldn't just date them because they like me but found out if I truly like them back before I date them. But thank you for your help.
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:iconcapcomwarrior:
CapcomWarrior Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Student General Artist
Very nice. I have to admit, I've been kinda thinking I might be asexual too, but I have an attraction towards men. Just not to the level of anything sexual.
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:iconxjackxofxtrades:
xJackxOfxTrades Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I keep this poem close and I read it when I'm sad. It's by far one of my favorites since everything clicks.
Thank you for writing it.
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:iconpnygrl596:
PnyGrl596 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I can definitely relate to this right now. I'm exploring the forums you linked currently. I think I'm asexual, but I also think I really like a guy that I work with. It's quite a bit to get used to all at once.
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:iconstanxkylefan:
StanxKyleFan Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I dont mean this in anyway mean or disrespectful, but, would you mind explaining Asexuality a bit more to me? I'm bisexual, so, i mean were not on the same page XD But, like, I always thought it just meant you werent sexually attracted to anyone at all and you never plan to have sex because youre just not attracted. Is that correct? Are there like... Asexual layers? Can you be an Asexual Gay person who only likes men but not in a sexual way? Likewise with Hetero and Lesbian? Im just curious.

BTW I just realized you said you are married and stuff now XD so, yeah... i feeel dumb
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:icontyger66:
tyger66 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes! Asexuality has lots of variation. There's heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, and aromantic (which is the one with no attraction to anyone).
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