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The girl is afraid of love.
The girl is afraid of love?
That can't be right.
No.
That isn't right at all.
I live for love.
It's the empty need I fear.
He's so beautiful.
I love him.
I want to make him happy, but not by sacrificing my needs.
I want to be close to him, but not give up my purity.
But that's all he wants.
That's all he ever wants.
I don't even think about it until he's trying to push my boundaries.
He can't see the other way.
He doesn't want the other way.
He wants me.
Now.
But I don't want him.
Not like that.
I was rereading Tremors and the last line just sort of stuck in my head.

"The girl is afraid of love."

It just didn't seem right. I've been stuck on it for the past couple of days. I did some soul searching and a ton of research but I figured out why that wasn't right. I'm asexual. I don't experience sexual attraction. Not the way that most people do. I never have.
[link]

^ that should explain it better.

but yeah, I finally wrote something about it.

EDIT: It's been a looong time since I wrote this poem. And since then, I got married and found out that I enjoy sex quite a bit. But at the time I wrote this, I believed that I was asexual. If you're reading my poem and everything I'm saying is clicking, do research and some soul searching. And don't be afraid to stand up for yourself if you are. Don't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to do. Not craving sexual intimacy can be a gift so don't be ashamed of it.
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:iconliradu2:
Liradu2 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2015  Hobbyist
Enjoying sex and feeling sexual attraction are two different things. Or maybe you are demi... 
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:iconrubydasquirlz:
RubyDaSquirlz Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2015  Student Writer
If you ended up enjoying it then maybe you're demi or gray-ace.
I know I'd love a relationship, but I'm scared of them not understanding and wanting more, and I know that'll always be in my head when I'm trying to enjoy the time around them XD So yup. This speaks.
Reply
:iconcreaturesanonymous:
creaturesanonymous Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
This makes abit of sence im at the age were all girls care about is boys boys boys and hugging and all that stuff. But what i havent understood is why im not like that i dont mind being single(i actualy like being single) but thatdoesnt mean i want a a guy who treats me well. The hole dating thing to me just seems weird and the sex stuff just sorta freaks me out. I cant hold a guys hand and look him in the face, i cant hugg a guy with out walking away fast, and i cant stand it when they touch my hips. I still havent found out who i truly am, and feeling confuse me. I have talked to my mom about this and she said its very possible that i could be a asexual, but its still not all clear to me. yes i like having guy friends that flirt and all that but it still seems weird ive always have dreamed about that perfect guy that cuddles but is it weird i cant see myself in a lasting relation ship with some one i love? No, I disagree! 
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:iconmillitrix:
Millitrix Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014  Student General Artist
This ... just describes everything I think ...
Reply
:iconsquirrellover:
squirrellover Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Im only 14 and maybe Im truly not asexual and Ill find out when I grow up but when I was dating a 17 year old he wanted to kiss me and it just totally disgusted me and I have had a lot of things like that were the guy wanted to hold my hand or something (like kiss me) and I just couldnt but its werid becuz I love cuddling and hugging..... idk Im just kinda confused and I just hope Im asexual just becuz I truly want to know wat I am... maybe u can help me?
Reply
:iconthe-diesis:
The-Diesis Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm 14 too and its really simple, just cause you're asexual now doesn't mean you have to be forever, all it means is that you don't feel the need to have sex, you don't want it and that's that, it doesn't mean you don't love or anything, now that's a uhhh...open-minded Ace's(asexual person) opinion some asexual people don't want cuddling or kissing or hand holding, others it a mix. Anyway your asexual if you totally don't want to have sex at all, a way to identify it is that any time you feel like someone is trying to make a move (like kissing)  you feel uncomfortable and want to get away
Reply
:iconsquirrellover:
squirrellover Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I'm 15 now and I have found out that I am not truly asexual I just thought I was because I was going through my numb state of my depression and I truly did not want to have any feeling not even that. But this last summer I fell in love and found out what happiness truly feels like. And with this boy all I wanted to do is kiss him and I still did not want to have sex but it was more of that I was 15 then anything. Its quite different for me now even though we have broken up (after 6 months) I now realize that through my years why I didn't want to kiss any guy was because I truly did not like them, I just dated them because they liked me. So now that I am single once again and boy are telling me they like me and asking me out I realize I shouldn't just date them because they like me but found out if I truly like them back before I date them. But thank you for your help.
Reply
:iconcapcomwarrior:
CapcomWarrior Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Student General Artist
Very nice. I have to admit, I've been kinda thinking I might be asexual too, but I have an attraction towards men. Just not to the level of anything sexual.
Reply
:iconxjackxofxtrades:
xJackxOfxTrades Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I keep this poem close and I read it when I'm sad. It's by far one of my favorites since everything clicks.
Thank you for writing it.
Reply
:iconpnygrl596:
PnyGrl596 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I can definitely relate to this right now. I'm exploring the forums you linked currently. I think I'm asexual, but I also think I really like a guy that I work with. It's quite a bit to get used to all at once.
Reply
:iconstanxkylefan:
StanxKyleFan Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I dont mean this in anyway mean or disrespectful, but, would you mind explaining Asexuality a bit more to me? I'm bisexual, so, i mean were not on the same page XD But, like, I always thought it just meant you werent sexually attracted to anyone at all and you never plan to have sex because youre just not attracted. Is that correct? Are there like... Asexual layers? Can you be an Asexual Gay person who only likes men but not in a sexual way? Likewise with Hetero and Lesbian? Im just curious.

BTW I just realized you said you are married and stuff now XD so, yeah... i feeel dumb
Reply
:icontyger66:
tyger66 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes! Asexuality has lots of variation. There's heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, and aromantic (which is the one with no attraction to anyone).
Reply
:iconstanxkylefan:
StanxKyleFan Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahh, so Asexual is totally different from hetero-homo-biromantic?
Reply
:icontyger66:
tyger66 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
All of those are subsets of Asexuality. For instance, I am a biromantic asexual. Romantic interest=/= Sexual interest. (I understand, it's pretty confusing.)
Reply
:iconfuzzy-fluffy:
Fuzzy-Fluffy Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is exactly how I feel...

I had no idea there were so many asexuals on dA...how comforting. :) My boyfriend broke up with me after 5 months of debating whether he could happily respect my "distaste". He couldn't, and I don't mind that at all.

Sigh. I long for mental, emotional devotion without the obligation of physical contact...Is it possible?
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011
yes, I believe it is. Hang around AVEN long enough and you might find someone. If not your mate, then at least people who feel the same way as you do.
Reply
:icondanajk701:
danajk701 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm asexual, and I hope that my special someone will respect that. If not then Au revoir. Thank you for writing this poem ^____^
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:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011
If not, then they aren't your special someone. The right one will take you as you are where you are. *hugs* and you're welcome. I'm so glad it's helped so many people.
Reply
:iconultima-squirrel:
Ultima-Squirrel Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
My girlfriend broke up with me because the fact I didn't want to do that stuff drove a wedge between us. For all my "worth" I simply can't make up for sensual pleasure - not exactly a compliment for my self-esteem but I won't take it as an insult.
We might as well have been two separate species.

I really like your poem, this fits me well (reverse gendered, and probably less concerned about purity: having been so challenged by sexuals I feel like I have to stand my ground on sheer principle now)
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011
You're very welcome. I'm very glad I can be of help to you.
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2011
The best advice I can give you is to be honest about your boundaries from the get go and don't cave. If they have a problem with what you feel, then obviously they aren't right for you. The biggest thing is to know that you're not alone. Just from the response to this poem, I can tell you that. having people who can talk to that understand what you're talking about makes you feel a lot less like an orange in a room full of apples. AVEN is a good place. The site is down for some reason, but it has a lot of information that will be helpful to you, so keep checking for it. The Wiki has info too. If you want someone to listen, my mailbox is always open.
Reply
:iconultima-squirrel:
Ultima-Squirrel Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
It's good advice, I'll take it :)

Thank you so much
Reply
:iconjackspicerchase:
JACKSPICERCHASE Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
just woah... absolutely awesomely written... d-dont mind me if I just fav this without a furhter word.
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2011
Oh darn. XP I'm very glad you liked it! *hugs*
Reply
:iconsk958:
sk958 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2010  Student General Artist
This is how I feel.
I mean, I want to love, and to be happy with a boy.
But, the fear of him trying to get that close puts me off completely. :(
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2010
Communication is key in all things. Let them know how far you're willing to go at the start, and then if they try any funny business it's their own fault when they get slapped in the face. XP And don't let anybody tell you how to feel.
Reply
:iconsk958:
sk958 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2010  Student General Artist
Thanks for the advice :iconhugplz:
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2011
I'm glad I could help. ^.^
Reply
:iconalexkhaos:
alexkhaos Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2010
This poem to asexuality is awesome!
I would love to have a sexless relationship
To find asexuals is hard, though
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2010
There is an online community for it called AVEN. www.asexuality.org Check it out!
Reply
:iconangelousdusk:
AngelousDusk Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2010
Yay for asexual pride! i love this poem!
Reply
:icondrwhofreak:
drwhofreak Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010  Student General Artist
you CAN be asexual and still enjoy sex :)
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2010
How? I thought the definition of asexuality is that you weren't interested in sex only companionship.
Reply
:icondrwhofreak:
drwhofreak Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2010  Student General Artist
well the definition of asexuality is lack of sexual attraction, which means basically you don't think of a person as someone you want to have sex with, but still while having sex you can get pleasure from it - many asexuals masturbate, it's not as if the nerve endings don't work or anything, it's just don't particularly care about doing it in the first place.
It's like, say you're not hungry - it doesn't mean you can't enjoy eating a bit of cake if offered, it just means you wouldn't seek out the cake. Asexuality is never being hungry, so to speak :)
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2010
ah.
Reply
:icondrwhofreak:
drwhofreak Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2010  Student General Artist
haha :)
Reply
:iconflypik:
FlyPik Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
even if i don't fully understand it(i'm bisexual) I still support it. Makes sense :)
Reply
:iconshereynia:
shereynia Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
im asexual too
i never wanted a relationship because of that
no one understands...
thank you^^
Reply
:iconjyonrai:
Jyonrai Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I feel the same way as you. So many people around me are jumping into having relationships...I just don't know what to make of it. :(

But I certainly don't want one. Not now anyway. ^^ I'm perfectly happy just the way I am. :D
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2010
There are more people like you out there than you know. Be strong!
Reply
:iconkodavu:
kodavu Featured By Owner May 3, 2009   Writer
Fantastic. Simple but perfectly relaying the crude fear.
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner May 4, 2009
Thank you.
Reply
:iconicevampyr:
IceVampyr Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2009
Wow, I can really relate to this, you've written this poem perfectly.
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2009
Thank you.
Reply
:iconarthatesme:
ArtHatesMe Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2008
I'm personally not asexual, but I can still relate to this :) I'd be more than happy to have a sexless relationship, if only society accepted that.
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2008
It's not for society to dictate what is right or wrong in a relationship but the personal beliefs and choices of the two in the relationship. If you don't want to have sex, than don't have sex. Screw what anyone else thinks.
Reply
:iconarthatesme:
ArtHatesMe Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2008
Amen :]
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2008
^.^
Reply
:iconsherbertz:
sherbertz Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2008
Written perfectly ^_^
Reply
:iconrianablackrose:
RianaBlackRose Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2008
Thank you.
Reply
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